


of subways and roads that lead (back) to you

by starries



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Pining, i'm actual junshua trash, they're in college but it's barely mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:38:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6940123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starries/pseuds/starries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jisoo sings at subways and Junhui is someone who catches Jisoo's eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	of subways and roads that lead (back) to you

**Author's Note:**

> alright i am actual junshua trash and i wrote this a few months back and i never meant for it to be so long but it was one of the works i've actually wrote so quickly and easily so ??
> 
> also this is basically unbetaed and barely edited because i will lose my mind if i had to read the same 14k words like 10 times
> 
> and also this will probably be horribly ooc and way too long and i break things into way too many paragraphs but bear with me
> 
> also their looks and hairstyles and colors are from mansae era

Jisoo sets down his guitar on the small blanket he has laid down on the on the concrete ground. He looks around at all the people buzzing about in the subway

 

He likes doing this, singing at subways. It’s not like he was in need of money, though, the extra pocket change was always a plus. He mostly did it just, well, because it was fun. He enjoyed it, singing with his guitar and having people stop by and clap along.

 

That was mostly the reason.

 

But lately, another reason for Jisoo to sing at the subway has come up. There's been a handsome young man who had caught Jisoo’s eye. He’s tall, lean, has cute bangs, and has a nice smile and laugh, from what Jisoo sees whenever he laughs at whatever his blonde friend says. He seems to be around Jisoo’s age and going to college. Jisoo doesn’t know much about him after that. Which is barely anything.

 

That’s why Jisoo doesn’t consider this a “crush” or whatever Jeonghan and his friends teases about him having. It’s not like him and the boy would meet anyways, they don’t have any reason to.

 

But, of course, Jisoo still always hoped for something to happen so he could meet the handsome boy.

 

Like in those cliche romcoms Jeonghan would make him watch sometimes, where the two have a romantic fated encounter and hit it off and fall in love.

 

But those were movies and Hollywood magic so it's very unlikely. Anyways Jisoo is like 90% sure the boy was dating someone, probably his blonde friend.

 

So, Jisoo just decides to admire the boy from afar, which seems to drive Jeonghan crazy.

 

Jisoo is still never sure why Jeonghan loves to meddle in other people’s love lives so much, but he does.

 

He’s like your mother, always asking about your love life, and if he finds out you have a crush, he will tease the hell out of you. It’s frustrating and annoying, but Jisoo has to admit that he gave really good advice too. 

 

But even if he does give good advice, Jisoo still doesn’t know what inside of him made him tell Jeonghan about the boy he sees at the subway, because just like a mother, Jeonghan told about every single friend they had about it.

 

And if Jeonghan’s teasing wasn’t enough, imagine that but like ten times worse. They act like Jisoo is an elementary schooler with his first crush, even though Jisoo’s older than almost all of them. Everytime any of their friends comes over, they always somehow mentioned the boy someway or another, either subtly or just outright.

 

And Jisoo doesn’t know why his love life and “crush”, it was not a crush, is so fascinating to the others.

 

There are eleven of friends in total in their friend group. One of them is surely and bound to have a more interesting love life than Jisoo’s. But, to them, apparently not. 

 

But no matter how annoying his friends teasing was, he still goes to them to complain or ask for advice. Because just because this isn’t a crush, absolutely not, that doesn’t mean Jisoo can’t want to be friends with the boy. Just friends.

 

Especially Jeonghan because, as he said,  he does give good advice.

 

So Jisoo decides to ask for advice while they’re sitting on the couch while they're watching some show after dinner. He starts slow, reluctant. Jeonghan doesn’t really seem to want to give his advice that evening, too invested in whatever korean drama is on tonight but Jisoo wants some advice more than usual this evening. 

 

Now, Jisoo and the boys eyes would meet sometimes. Sometimes after Jisoo finishes a song, he would look up and their eyes would connect. Other times he would be looking at the boy and he would see the boy turn around to look in his direction.

 

But every time they made eye contact either the boy or Jisoo would turn away quickly.

 

This particular day, the boy was with his friend when they made eye contact. He turned away and leaned into his friend and apparently said something and his friend burst out laughing and put his arm around his shoulder and rubbed his shoulder. The boy slumped into the blonde’s side with the tips of his ears red.

 

Jisoo couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy, as Jisoo turned away and rubbed his chest. Why did he feel jealous over a boy he barely knew? 

 

So Jisoo does something he doesn’t usually do. He annoys Jeonghan.

 

He keeps asking until the older looks at him with an exasperated expression, “You’re even worse than when Mingyu and Seungkwan were crushing on each other. And that was pretty bad.”

 

Jisoo looks at Jeonghan mildly offended. “Oh come on, there’s no way I’m as bad as them.” he tries to retort but the absolutely done expression Jeonghan is giving Jisoo makes him stop and shrink back a little.

 

Ok, Jeonghan is right. He is worse than Mingyu and Seungkwan, because at least Mingyu and Seungkwan were friends when they weren’t together yet and they knew each other.

 

All Jisoo knows about the mysterious boy is that he takes the subway everyday, that he is very handsome and cute, and that he has a cute friend with blonde hair that he may or may not be dating.

 

Jisoo hopes for the latter.

 

*

 

Jisoo wakes up to the sound of rain hitting his room’s roof and window. Half of him wants to curl up in the warmth of his bed and sleep longer, since he didn’t have any classes any time soon, but the other half tells him to get out of bed because the boy would be at the subway. The latter won out.

 

Jisoo mentally scolds himself for getting up and going to sing at a subway station in the cold on a rainy morning, just for a boy he doesn’t even know. 

 

Jisoo sighs in defeat as he walks to his closet and starts looking through his clothes. He takes out a simple white sweater and a gray long jacket. Good enough. He puts on a pair of jeans and walks out.

 

He prods to the kitchen and places two pieces of bread into the toaster. He then walks to the bathroom so he can wash up since he has a bit of time before the toast was done anyways.

 

He splashes cold water onto his face and Jisoo feels more awake. He grabs a towel and starts drying off his face. He stares at his reflection and cards his fingers through his hair. Orange. Sometimes Jisoo still can’t believe he let his friends convince him to dye his hair orange but he had to admit it looks nice on him.

 

He is just about to put jam onto his toast when Jeonghan comes out, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

 

Jeonghan pauses and stares at Jisoo for a moment, seemingly trying to figure something out, maybe why Jisoo was up and ready so early on a day he has no classes.

 

Jisoo feels himself shrink a bit under Jeonghan's gaze. Then, something seems to click in Jeonghan's head, all the grogginess slowly disappearing as he smirks.

 

He hums and makes his way to behind the stove, next to Jisoo, to put jam on the other piece of toast Jisoo had made.

 

There’s a deafening silence, only interrupted by Jeonghan's humming. He’s about halfway done with spreading his jam when he breaks the silence.

 

"I'm assuming you're only up this early for the boy at the subway?" Jeonghan gives Jisoo another smirk. Jisoo's eyes widens and he stands up abruptly. He winces at the screech of the chair dragging across the tiles and Jisoo questions why Jeonghan could read him so well and why he was best friends with him.

 

Jisoo’s reaction and stuttering is more than enough to give Jeonghan the answer he needs and he shakes his head and smiles before biting into his toast.

 

He chokes down the rest of his toast and hurries out the door, forgetting to bring an umbrella.

 

Jeonghan calls out, trying to tell Jisoo but he was long gone. Jeonghan chuckles and hopes Jisoo would be ok.

 

*

 

Jisoo quickly regrets forgetting to bring an umbrella because halfway to the subway it starts pouring and Jisoo has to quickly find cover.

 

He isn't too wet since he luckily found cover pretty quickly.

 

Jisoo looks up at the sky and the rain falling from it from under the cover. It doesn't really bother him, honestly. He actually kind of liked the rain. It’s soothing, and calming.

 

He starts humming "Sunday Morning" the song his friends teased him for singing too much, when he feels a presence come from the rain and next to him for cover. He turns his head, curious to see who it is.

 

His breath catches in his throat and he immediately stops humming, or else he thinks he might suffocate.

 

It’s him. The handsome boy. 

 

Jisoo can clearly see that the boy’s wet from the rain. The boy’s trying to dry himself off, not noticing Jisoo, and Jisoo snaps out of his daze and starts desperately searching for something. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief.

 

His friends always made fun of him for being such a “gentleman” because he carried a handkerchief around, among many other gentlemanly things, and he hates being made fun of, but today is different.

 

Today, he thanks the lord and every deity there is that he has a handkerchief, as he slowly hands it to the boy and coughs to grab his attention.

 

The boy turns to him and Jisoo swears he sees the boy's eyes widen for a second and his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. Or maybe Jisoo’s just seeing things.

 

It’s the first time Jisoo has seen his face so close. So close that Jisoo can almost feel his breath being knocked out of him.

 

The boy’s more than handsome, he’s gorgeous. He’s taller than Jisoo, but only by about a few centimeters. Jisoo also notices that today the boy has his hair styled up, away from his forehead rather than having his cute bangs cover them, showing his forehead and his face more clearly, leaving a more handsome, mature look.   

 

And it looks _good. Really good._

 

Jisoo realizes too late that he said that out loud when he hears a sharp intake of breath and sees the boy's eyes widen a fraction.

 

He feels his heart drop to his stomach and tries to give a reason or excuse but after about 5 seconds of stuttering he decides to just shut his mouth to stop him from embarrassing himself any further.

 

He turns away, and the ground is suddenly so much more interesting. He feels his face heat up, even if he tries to will it away.

 

There were a few seconds of dreaded silence before Jisoo hears a snort and then laughter. It was music to his ears.

  
  
(He’s vaguely aware of hearing something threatening to fall in the back of his mind.)

 

Jisoo snaps his head up to face the boy and sees that the boy was facing the other direction, his back to Jisoo, hunched over.

 

Jisoo can see that the boy’s trying to hide his laughter, but he's clearly failing because Jisoo can see the boy's shoulders shake and giggles escaping him. Jisoo thinks it's absolutely adorable.

 

Jisoo stares at the boy half in horror, because, is he laughing at him? And half in awe, because how can a boy the same age as Jisoo be so cute?

 

When the boy finally settles down he turns back to face Jisoo, a smile still fresh on his features and his cheeks red to match Jisoo's.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Jisoo can’t respond properly for a few seconds due to him being too shocked that 1) the boy is talking to him and his voice is so nice and better in person and 2) he isn’t creeped out by how Jisoo seems to know that he looks different today. He even seems happy if Jisoo is being completely honest.

 

The boy seems to take pity on Jisoo and decides to talk first.

 

“You’re the boy who always sings at the subway, right?” He cocks his head to the side, curious, a little a small smile still playing on his lips and Jisoo couldn’t help but find it cute.

  
  
Jisoo scolds himself for doing that because he's the same age as you Jisoo.

 

"Y-yea,” he responds, still a but dazed at this whole situation and because the boy noticed and remembered Jisoo. And in the back of his mind Jisoo can tell the boy wasn’t Korean because of his accent, which he finds oddly endearing.

 

The boy smiles and reaches out his hand.

 

“I’m Wen Junhui.”

 

Jisoo slowly takes the boy, Junhui’s, hand and shakes it gently, cautiously.

 

“I’m Hong Jisoo.”

 

(In the back of Jisoo’s mind he hears a far off sound, something almost like falling, _his heart,_ the start of something inevitable and incredible.)

 

The boy, _Junhui_ , his mind said, lets his hand linger and they both drop them to their side.

 

Jisoo’s about to say something when a phone ringing surprises them both and a flustered Junhui takes his phone from his pocket to answer it.

 

Jisoo hears Junhui start speaking Chinese and he knows it's his blonde friend. Jisoo hears hurried footsteps from the rain and he looks up to see a boy with blonde hair walking quickly towards him and Junhui with an umbrella.

 

He stops next to Junhui speaking more Chinese to him. He doesn't notice Jisoo until Junhui turns back to say a goodbye he sees the blonde's eyes widen and a smirk form.

 

He watches the two figures walk off into the distance, the blonde's arm around Junhui’s and animately speaking to him, until they turn the corner and disappear from Jisoo’s view.

 

Jisoo feel sparks ignite from his fingertips and burn down his esophagus and down, down, to finally burst in his heart, spreading warmth to everywhere in his body, a contrast to the pouring, cold rain.

 

*

 

Jisoo comes back to the apartment dripping wet and in awe. Jeonghan immediately runs to tha bathroom and rushes to him with a towel and starts drying the orange haired boy. What a mother. “Did something happen?” The blonde asks with curiosity, and if Jisoo had the ability right now to listen close enough, concern.

 

Jeonghan drapes the towel over the other and ushers Jisoo to his room to get changed.

 

As Jisoo pulls the drenched sweater over his head, Jeonghan asks him again from the doorframe that he’s leaning against, “Did something happen?” 

 

Jisoo hums and nods as he digs through his closet to find a shirt. “I talked to the boy,” he says simply.

 

And from the corner of his eye he sees Jeonghan’s jaw drop. Then he sees Jeonghan rushing towards him at a surprising speed. 

 

He grabs Jisoo still unclothed shoulders and looks at him in shock and a bit of happiness, “Really?” he asks, or more like yells.

 

Jisoo nods and coughs, signaling the excited Jeonghan to let him go so he can put his shirt on because even with the heater on, it was cold.

 

The blonde lets him go, but still looks at him with sparkling eyes. He doesn't say anything but the eyes he’s giving Jisoo are more than enough for Jisoo to understand that Jeonghan wants to hear about it. 

 

“Well his name's Wen Junhui,” Jisoo starts off slowly. Jeonghan nods urging him to continue.

 

“I took cover from the rain and he took cover next to me. He was wet so I gave him my handkerchief to dry himself off.” He pauses. Half to actually put his shirt on properly and let Jeonghan think, maybe respond or give his input, and half, the bigger half, to brace himself for the response he’ll get for telling Jeonghan that he accidentally called Junhui handsome and that his hair was nice. 

 

Jisoo takes Jeonghan's silence for a signal to go on so he does. "Well, then I, um," Jisoo hears his voice grow quiet, "I accidentally said that his hair was nice and that he was handsome."

 

It takes Jeonghan a few seconds to process what Jisoo had said before he burst out laughing.

 

"Oh my god, Jisoo!" he can't say much after that since he was too busy laughing that he can barely breathe. It takes a few seconds for the older to get sobered up. He places his hand on Jisoo's shoulder and pats him sympathetically.

 

Jisoo tells him about how Junhui left because his blonde friend called him and came to Junhui’s rescue with an umbrella.

 

Jisoo stares at the blonde with eyes that asks the older what to do after this, since Jisoo didn't have experiences with crushes and love much anyways, and even though Jeonghan didn't either, he seemed a lot more knowledgeable about it.

 

The blonde smirks at him and Jisoo feels his skin tingle and stomach flip. Oh no.

 

"Invite him over," Jeonghan only elaborates what he meant when Jisoo clearly doesn't understand, "become friends with him and invite him over and his friend to hang out with us and the others. The others will love it."

 

*

 

Jisoo feels his hands sweat and he just fidgets instead of actually playing a song. He can't stop think about Junhui. What would he say? How would he invite him and his friend? Is it even normal to invite someone over after meeting one time? Would Junhui even talk to him again? What if the meeting was a one time thing?

 

Jisoo sighs. He finally accepts that he has a crush on Junhui. And having a crush is tiring. Especially since Jisoo finally met him and learned his name.

 

 _Wen Junhui_.

 

Jisoo turns the name over and over in his head, trying to get used to it, as he starts playing notes on his guitar and singing.

 

_Sunday morning, rain is falling_

 

_Steal some cover, share some skin_

 

A soft voice with accented English joins in with Jisoo's fluent English, and he looks up is surprise.

 

It’s Junhui and he has his hair down and his cute bangs covering his forehead, a contrast to yesterday's style.

 

Jun stops singing when he notices Jisoo’s surprise and gives him a sheepish smile.

 

"Uh, I like the song you sang yesterday, so I searched up," Junhui say with accented Korean, Jisoo still staring, "a-anyways, I forgot to return the handkerchief to you yesterday,” he quickly takes out Jisoo’s handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to him.

 

Jisoo takes it slowly, feeling the sparks light up beneath his skin again. His heart rate goes up and his butterflies come alive in his stomach. He feels a little lightheaded.

 

Jisoo expects Junhui to leave, after he gives the handkerchief back, but he doesn't. Instead, he sits down right next to Jisoo and Jisoo can't really hide his surprise.

 

"Do you not want me to?" Junhui asks quietly, shy, which doesn't seem to fit him. Jisoo shakes his head, scooting a little closer to Junhui, making their thighs touch.

 

"Don't you have things to do? Classes?" This time it was Junhui’s turn to shake his head, saying he was free the whole day.

 

Jisoo doesn't know how to really bring the second question up but he does, "What about your friend? The blonde one?"

 

"Oh, Minghao? He's busy today so I'm just by myself," Jisoo’s a bit surprised by how easily Junhui answered the question, considering they barely know each other.

 

There’s an awkward silence and Jisoo squirms. He’s not sure how to make it disappear, so he just says the first thing that comes to mind.

 

"Hey, uhm, Junhui," it still feels a bit weird to say his name so casually. Junhui turns to him, "Since I sing here, and you’re here, why don't we sing together? Your voice is nice.”

 

Jisoo immediately regrets saying the first thing that came to his mind and prays that he said the last part quietly enough that Junhui didn't hear.

 

But the blush rising on the latter's cheeks and the way he brings up his hand to cover his mouth with the back of it indicated otherwise.

 

And usually Jisoo would be embarrassed that he heard but after seeing a sight like that, Junhui with red cheeks and shy, so much more different from his seemingly confident personality, Jisoo’s more than ok with him hearing his compliment and the embarrassment melts away.

 

Junhui gives him a small nod and Jisoo strums the guitar strings, playing the melody, hoping that it would make the last of the awkwardness and embarrassment disappear.

 

_Clouds are shrouding us with moments unforgettable_

 

_You twist to fit the mold that I am in_

 

Junhui’s voice is soft and warm, something you wouldn't really expect from someone like him.

 

It wasn't extraordinary and breathtaking like Seungkwan’s voice, but it was pleasant and soothing, full of emotion yet gentle. Jisoo could listen to it for long, long time.

 

And he kind of wishes he could.

 

_But things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do_

 

_And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew_

 

The two have gathered a small crowd by now with their soft voices and soothing guitar. But both of them barely take notice, too caught up in singing and each other.

 

_That someday it would lead me back to you_

 

Jisoo glances at Junhui and their eyes connect. Jisoo experiences that same loss of breathe, sparks that come alive underneath his skin, heart racing, stomach flipping thing that always happens when it comes to Junhui.

 

(It falls further down, with no means of stopping.)

 

But he doesn't look away, not like those times before where he would turn his head the moment their eyes made contact.

 

And Junhui doesn't either, keeping a steady gaze.

 

_That someday it would lead me back to you_

 

*

 

Jisoo fidgets with the bottom of his shirt, twisting and pulling it.

 

Junhui and Minghao are coming over today, along with the rest of his friends, who had all cheered loudly when Jeonghan told them about what happened between Jisoo and Junhui, after Jisoo’s awkward attempt at inviting Junhui, which worked.

 

A sudden hand on his shoulder makes him jump as he turns around. Jeonghan has one of his eyebrows quirked up, “Why are you so nervous? I’ve never seen you so nervous,” it doesn’t really help and Jisoo doesn't calm down so Jeonghan continues, “Jeez Jisoo, he’s coming over to hangout and meet our friends, you're not proposing to him.”

 

Jeonghan has weird ways of comforting people sometimes, but at least they work. Jisoo takes a deep breath and looks at the mirror, fixing up his hair and straightening out his shirt which his fidgeting had, inevitably, wrinkled.

 

Jeonghan pats him on the back, saying he looks fine, “Hurry up, they'll be here soon.”

 

Jisoo has just finished fixing his hair when he hears the doorbell ring and the loud and rowdy voices of his many, many friends can be heard from the living room.

 

He walks out and when he reaches the living room everyone turns to look at him with smiles and teasing looks. He squirms under the attention. No one says anything about Junhui and Minghao coming over, but everyone knows and they all seem pretty excited to meet them.

 

Jisoo sits down on the floor to join his friends since there were too many of them to fit on Jisoo and Jeonghan’s poor couch.

 

All of them fall into casual conversation when the doorbell rings again. Everything quiets down and all eyes turn to look at the door and then to Jisoo.

 

No one gets up, and no one seems to try. They look at Jisoo, signaling him to go with jerks of their heads and whispers. So Jisoo gets up and goes to the door.

 

He feels all the eyes, all ten pairs, on him and he hears muffled Chinese behind the door. He takes a deep breath and opens the door, revealing the two, brunette and blonde, Chinese boys.

 

He hears his friends behind him start talking amongst themselves, trying to keep quiet, but failing horribly. Jisoo takes a quick look at Junhui, trying not to stare too much, but he seems to have failed when he sees a smirk playing on Minghao face, and greets them.

 

“Hey,” he says, and it comes out a lot more breathy than he intended to, like a soft sigh.

 

“Hey,” Junhui says softly back, a gentle smile on his face. Minghao says something in Chinese which makes Junhui choke and blush and then proceed to yell something back before they come in.

 

The three of them sit down, with Junhui next to Jisoo and Minghao next to Junhui and Soonyoung.

 

Almost immediately Jisoo’s friend start talking to them, asking them questions. And these were the times Jisoo’s thankful that his friends were so, well, friendly.

 

Junhui and Minghao introduce themselves and his friends introduce themselves back.

 

Jeonghan, Soonyoung, Seungcheol, Jihoon, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Seungkwan, Seokmin, Hansol, Chan.

 

After that they ask more questions like where they were from, China, or why they came to Korea, for university, and as much as Jisoo tries to hide it, he drank in all of the words they say, especially Junhui’s.

 

Jisoo is surprised by how easily the two of them fit in with their group. It's as if they were all old friends, just catching up.

 

They all joke around, talk, and even help Junhui and Minghao with their Korean.

 

Jisoo tries, he honestly did, but he can't help but stare at Junhui and observe all his expressions. His smile, his laugh, his concentrated face as he learns new Korean.

 

Jisoo knows he probably has a sappy look on him and that he's probably going to be in so deep, probably already is. He tunes into the conversation and jokes everyone's exchanging. Jisoo’s pretty concentrated on whatever his friends are saying and not too concentrated on staring at Junhui.

 

But then Junhui’s laughing so hard from a joke Soonyoung and Seungkwan apparently said that he has to grip Jisoo’s shoulder and lean into him for support. His bangs cover his face and he laughs so hard barely any sound comes out. His shoulders shake as he uses his other hand to cover his mouth, trying to cover the bright smile behind it.

  
  
And Jisoo feels himself freeze and his heart stutters. His body and mind can’t function properly because he’s so utterly charmed he can’t do anything but stare at the shaking figure in awe.

 

(He feels himself fall a little more, and it's far too late to try and stop it now.)

 

He doesn’t notice anything in the room but Junhui and he doesn’t notice how everyone else in the room are all staring at Jisoo with knowing looks.

 

A cough and a tap on his shoulder brings his back to reality, where everyone has significantly quieted down. Most of them are staring at Jisoo and Junhui and hiding their looks and knowing smirks behind their hands.

 

Jisoo feels the heat go to his face and he knows his cheeks are turning red. He takes a glance at Junhui and sees redden cheeks on the other too.

 

There was an awkward silence in the room, mostly between Junhui and Jisoo, before Seungkwan cracks a joke and everyone laughs again.

 

The uncomfortable atmosphere quickly melts away and Jisoo shoots Seungkwan a thankful look, which the latter returned with a look of his own before teasing Mingyu, his boyfriend, with something, making the taller boy flush red.

 

Jisoo scans the lively living room with a smile, Jeonghan joking around with Seungcheol, Wonwoo, and Jihoon. Seungkwan is still teasing Mingyu and Seokmin decided to join in. Hansol and Chan are both animately talking to each other. Soonyoung and Minghao seemed to be getting along quite well too conversing with each other with bright eyes.

 

Then his eyes settle on Junhui. The younger boy, Jisoo had found out he was younger when his friends had launched like three hundred questions onto the two poor Chinese boys at the beginning, much to Jisoo’s surprise, is already looking back at Jisoo with an expression he can't quite figure out.

 

Jisoo’s skin prickles and he feels goosebumps forming and his stomach flip.

 

He feels his heart pound faster, beating, beating against his ribcage, about to burst.

 

He feels like he has to say something, anything.

 

But before he can Jeonghan puts a hand on his shoulder, snapping him back to reality and Jisoo quickly turns around to face the older and hear what he has to say. He doesn't catch how Junhui’s face falls just a bit.

 

Jeonghan leans into Jisoo and whispers “How's it going it with Junhui, lover boy? We all saw those looks you guys were exchanging,” Jisoo immediately feels his face heat up and how many times has that happened today? He punches Jeonghan in the shoulder lightly, saying a quiet “shut up” as Jeonghan laughs before turning back to Junhui.

 

Junhui’s seemed to have started chatting with Minghao and Soonyoung, his back turned and not paying attention to Jisoo. Jisoo doesn't tap Junhui shoulder or try to get his attention. He just sits there and stays silent.

 

Jisoo honestly didn't know what to do. He wants to talk to Junhui, he really does because, honestly, he hasn't talked to him as much as he wanted to and he’s the one who invited him and he's the one with a crush on him. But he doesn't know how. Would it be weird to tap his shoulder and take him out of the other conversation?

 

Jisoo shakes his head.This is stupid, he's over thinking this way too much. He should just go and do it. Like Jeonghan said, he's just hanging out not proposing.

 

He looks at Junhui and he's filled with determination. He notices that Junhui has stopped talking to Minghao and Soonyoung, observing the scene before him with big eyes.

 

“Something on your mind?” the words fall out of Jisoo’s mouth before he has a chance to filter them. He sees Junhui jump a little in surprise before taking his eyes off Jisoo’s friend and turning to face Jisoo.

 

Junhui shakes his head and smiles, “Just observing,” and Jisoo has to resist the urge to interlace his fingers with Junhui’s long, thin ones.

 

Jisoo starts to ask Junhui questions of his own and Junhui asks back. They get caught up in their own world, conversing in soft voices, a large contrast to the yells from the others.

 

Jisoo feels the corners of his mouth tug up whenever he says or does something that makes Junhui let out a laugh or breathe out a smile. He takes pride knowing he made Junhui show that gentle smile towards him.

 

Hours pass and everyone plays stupid childish group games and tell embarrassing stories.

 

Minghao and Junhui decide it's time for themselves to go home, saying their goodbye's to everyone, but not before promising to hang out again in the future.

 

Once the rest hear the door click and Jisoo walks back into the living room, they immediately start talking about Junhui and Minghao.

 

“They're good people,” Seungcheol states before flashing Jisoo a thumbs up.

 

Everyone else agrees and Jisoo internally groans. He knew that teasing would come soon enough so he tries his best to convince everyone to leave before that happens.

 

It works and everyones out the door within ten minutes, which is a new record for Jisoo and Jeonghan, and Jisoo lets out a sigh after the last of them leave.

 

Jeonghan gives Jisoo a sympathetic smile and Jisoo returns it with a smile of his own. They both start moving to clean up the small messes left behind from everyone.

 

“He's a nice guy,” Jeonghan says softly. It has no teasing tone in it, just a statement. Jisoo looks up from the cups he is currently putting away before smiling.

 

“Yea, he is.”

 

*

 

Junhui sits down beside Jisoo without saying a word, only smiling at him. And Jisoo doesn't question it. If Junhui singing with him at the subway will become a regular thing, he's more than ok with it.

 

“You have any songs in mind?” Jisoo asks because he can't decide which one to sing.

 

Junhui thinks about it for a moment his eyebrows knitting together. Jisoo has the urge to kiss it away.

 

Junhui takes a while to think, unsure of what song to choose. Jisoo’s not sure either, so they sit in silence surrounded by a buzz of white noise.

 

Jisoo’s hands move on their own after a moment, strumming a tune that Jihoon, the “musical genius” his friends all called him since he wrote and produced his own songs in his free time, had just made a little bit ago and Jisoo and the other singers haven't even finished recording yet.

 

Jisoo starts singing, soft and slow. Junhui seems to get surprised at Jisoo’s sudden song, just a bit. Slowly, Junhui joins in, humming and mumbling the unfamiliar lyrics and tune.

 

_I wanna be your morning baby_

 

Junhui gets the melody, closing his eyes and humming with a smile on his lips.

 

_From now on be alright_

 

Junhui doesn't seem to attempt to sing along fully, letting Jisoo have the spotlight.

 

_Spend it together, morning_

 

Jisoo wants to take Junhui’s hand, but he can't. Too fast in the relationship and he couldn't continue the song.

 

_I want you to be my night_

 

Jisoo feels the lyrics don't match. Junhui has stars in his eyes, but he has the sun in his smile.

 

_Everything you think of_

 

_Will become all of me_

 

Jisoo feels vulnerable and raw, singing this song. Even though it isn’t about Junhui, Jisoo feels like it is. Every word he sings out seems to be towards Junhui.

 

(It falls faster, and Jisoo becomes aware of it, knows he’s in deep.)

 

_Look at me and be my lady_

 

Jisoo looks at Junhui, just like the first time they sang together and feels his heartbeat grow faster. He has to swallow down the heart that's threatening to leap out of his throat.

 

_You're my twenties_

 

Jisoo knows Junhui is his twenties.

 

(Jisoo’s finally aware that he’s falling in love.)

 

He knows that Junhui is a growing existence in his life. Growing rapidly, and there's no way to stop it.

 

So Jisoo just has to accept it.

 

*

 

Jisoo learns that Junhui plays the piano when they hung out at Jeonghan and Jisoo’s place and Jisoo made an offhand comment on how Junhui should play for him sometime.

 

And that's what gets Jisoo and Junhui alone in Junhui and Minghao’s apartment. Jisoo sways a bit, out of anxiousness, since Minghao’s out with Soonyoung. They've grown a lot closer since the time they met at Jisoo’s place.

 

Junhui’s in his room, saying he wanted to change into something more comfortable and then left. Which left Jisoo alone in the living room, sitting on the couch.

 

He takes the time to look around the room, studying it. The furniture is still a little lacking, due to the two Chinese boys only moved in about a year or two before.

 

There are some picture frames, of the two of them of them when they were younger and with people who Jisoo assumed where their families. Seeing the old photos made Jisoo wonder how long the two have known each other.

 

They seemed to have known each other since childhood, even longer than Jeonghan and himself, who've known each other since middle school.

 

Jisoo gets up and glances down the hallway that led to Junhui and Minghao’s rooms and the bathroom. He hears a door knob turning and he quickly sits back down on the couch.

 

Junhui comes back in a pair of gray sweatpants and a baggy shirt. Jisoo knows he shouldn't enjoy Junhui in home clothes this much, but he does.

 

Junhui gives him a smile and walks to the piano, Jisoo getting up and following in suit. He opens the top of the piano and sits down, Jisoo hesitantly sitting next to him, “What song do you want to hear?”

 

Jisoo shrugs, saying anything was ok and Junhui lets out a chuckle, saying he was the one to ask Junhui to play for him.

 

And even though Junhui says that, he starts playing a melody anyways. Jisoo watches Junhui slim fingers dance across the white and black keys, as they produce a soft melody.

 

Jisoo’s hand subconsciously find their way to Junhui waist, drawing light circles into his hip. Junhui either takes no notice or doesn't bother to say anything, just keeps playing.

 

The afternoon sun paints streaks of light through the curtains and onto the hardwood floor.

 

The melody Junhui is playing slowly comes to a stop and the atmosphere is mellow, sweet and gentle.

 

Junhui turns around, to ask Jisoo how it was, but they both freeze. And suddenly that mellow atmosphere is broken, replaced with tension and anxiousness. Their faces are so close that if Jisoo moves just a few centimeters closer their lips could touch.

 

And something in Jisoo, something very, very strong, wills him to do just that, to move in and kiss Junhui. But something else stops him, his sense, saying that this was too fast and that Jisoo didn't even know if Junhui likes him back, and he doesn't want to take the chance to ruin their growing friendship.

 

They stay like that for a while, before a car horn from outside snaps them out of it. They both jump apart, cheeks red and a little out of breath.

 

“So, uh, how was it?”

 

Junhui looks at anything but Jisoo, “It was nice,” Jisoo says gently and Junhui finally looks up directly at Jisoo and Jisoo adds, “I loved it.”

 

Junhui’s eyes crinkle up into crescents and his features break into a blinding smile that could rival the sunbeams that are spilling onto the wooden floor right now, and Jisoo thinks that if they were competing, Junhui’s smile would win.

 

His lungs give out and his breath come out in short puffs, and Jisoo hopes Junhui doesn't notice.

 

(Jisoo’s so aware of it, his heart pounding against his rib cage, leaving him breathless.)

 

(Jisoo is so, _so_ in love.)

 

The sound of the front door opening makes them both jump and jolt their heads towards the door, and the atmosphere turns back into an awkward one.

 

Minghao comes in, giving a greeting and taking off his shoes and hanging up his coat, before stepping into the living room where Jisoo and Junhui are at.

 

Minghao stops, sensing the atmosphere in the room, looking at Junhui, then Jisoo, then the space in between the two.

 

Minghao raises an eyebrow about to ask something, maybe what happened between them and Jisoo takes the chance to leave before having to answer.

 

“I’ll, uh, get going, it's getting dark,” Jisoo says in a hurry, speed walking to the coat rack to put on his jacket and quickly putting on his shoes.

 

He leaves through the door after throwing a quick goodbye, before stepping into the quiet hallway, closing the door behind him. He hears muffled talking from inside the apartment and decides to leave.

 

He steps into the city streets, immediately being surrounded with noise. Cars, people, horns, chatting. He looks up at the window that leads to Junhui and Minghao’s apartment.

 

He sighs and then takes deep breaths of the cold air, hoping to calm his pounding heart, finally feeling like he can breathe properly again.

 

Jisoo buries himself further into his coat to protect himself from the cold and sets out into the noisy city streets to go back home.

 

*

 

Jisoo’s waiting for Junhui at the subway since he had said that he was free today.

 

It's been a few months since Junhui and Jisoo met each other. Jisoo and Junhui get a lot closer the longer they're friends, singing together in the subway almost anytime they're both free, and hanging out more, with their friends and even just the two of them sometimes.

 

Jisoo learns that Junhui loves to dance and does martial arts, and that Jisoo should be careful around the Junhui and Minghao household since he’s pretty sure they can both take Jisoo, or anyone for that matter, down in 2 seconds flat if they wanted to.

 

So it's wise to keep on their good side and hopefully Jisoo or his friends never do anything to make any one of them want to take them down.

 

Junhui learns some things about Jisoo too, like how he lived in America for his childhood before moving to Korea during middle school, meeting Jeonghan. That Jisoo and some other friends make some songs with Jihoon for fun.

 

The two have learned more and more about each other and the thought of it makes warmth bloom in his chest.

 

He sees him come down the stairs with quick feet. The closer Junhui is the more Jisoo can see how flustered he is.

 

When Junhui finally stops by Jisoo, he's out of breath, red in the cheeks, and his hair a bit messy.

 

And Jisoo stares a little longer than necessary and has to will the dirty thoughts away,  because just because Jisoo is a gentleman and a “church boy” or whatever his friends called him, that doesn't mean he isn't a healthy young man.

 

(There's something about Junhui that Jisoo loves, or maybe, it's just absolutely everything.)

 

Junhui sits down next to Jisoo, exhausted and Jisoo asks if he's ok. Junhui nods but he has some uncertainty in his eyes that makes Jisoo’s stomach twist in worry.

 

“Why don't you sing first?” Junhui suggests, trying to catch his breath and Jisoo does, singing an English song. Jisoo sees Junhui close his eyes and sway a bit, getting caught up in the music, breath slowing to a normal rate.

 

When Jisoo finishes there's a silence before it's interrupted by Junhui, ”Hey, Jisoo hyung,” Jisoo turns to face Junhui, not knowing where this is going, “I, uhm,” Junhui stops, seems to be steeling himself.

 

Jisoo feels his heartbeat speed up because, was this a confession? Jisoo quickly scolds himself for getting his hopes and expectations up. And he's glad he does because the words that come out of Junhui mouth in a messy tumble make him freeze.

 

“I have to go back to China. In about a week”

 

Jisoo _feels_ his face fall, in disbelief and he knows Junhui can see. Junhui does take notice and hurriedly adds, “I mean, not like moving back,” Junhui becomes even more flustered, trying desperately to explain, “I'm just going back for a few months to help out my family with some things.”

 

Jisoo knows it would be very selfish to ask Junhui to stay because they weren't even dating and it was to help with _family problems._ So Jisoo swallows the words down and nods, “When will you be back?”

 

“I'm not sure but it'll be only a few months at most,” and Jisoo hates how Junhui says _only_ a few months because Jisoo only met Junhui and he wants to learn so much more about him but now it's going to be put on hold. But this is not Junhui’s fault and Jisoo has no right to be mad at him.

 

So Jisoo nods again and then suggests for them to sing, since Jisoo wants to take the heavy atmosphere away that is around the, because it wasn't Junhui fault that he had to go back.

 

Their goodbyes, though even a bit stiff and awkward, are still filled with their feelings and friendship.

 

They linger, not wanting to leave each other even if Junhui wasn’t leaving until next week.

 

Jisoo sees Junhui’s soft gaze on him, soft eyes and gentle smile, and he’s sure he’s returning a gaze just as loving, if not more. Jisoo doesn’t know if he should take the Junhui’s gaze on him as something more than friendship, a twinge of hope growing in his heart. There's unresolved tension in the air and Jisoo can practically  _feel_ it.

 

He’s about to ask, about to throw away all his worries and fears, about to tell Junhui about how much he loves him and ask if Junhui feels the same back.

 

But Jisoo’s also conscious and paranoid. He stops himself, biting his tongue, and forces out a last goodbye, doesn't see Junhui’s disappointed face, because he’s looking over Junhui’s shoulder, not wanting to face him, before seeing Junhui turn around and walk home.

 

Jisoo watches him leave, like the first day they met, and then he heads home too, heart heavy and maybe even regretful.

 

*

 

Jisoo tells Jeonghan that evening and Jeonghan rubs soothing circles into his back, “Don't worry about it, I mean he did say you could Skype and call right? And it's only a few months.”

 

A few months, _only a few months._ Jeonghan seems to sense Jisoo’s bitterness over it, trying to comfort him more, “Jisoo, a few months isn't going to make a difference if you're going to spend a lifetime with them.”

 

Jisoo looks at Jeonghan confused, about to ask what he meant by that, but Jeonghan cuts him off before he can, saying he should go to sleep since he has classes tomorrow and it’s almost 1 in the morning.

 

Jisoo takes Jeonghan’s advice, forgetting about Jeonghan’s words, brushing his teeth and washing up before collapsing onto his bed and closing his eyes.

 

His breath turns shallow and he falls asleep easily, exhausted from thinking about Junhui and him leaving.

 

Jisoo dreams of sharp, deep brown eyes, soft hair, a gentle, warm voice, and a bright smile and laugh and he feels a little better.

 

*

 

Jisoo wakes up early to go see Junhui off at the airport.

 

He feels like his body is heavy and he doesn't want to go, because if he does, he'll see Junhui leave, but if he doesn’t then that means he just lost a chance to see Junhui one more time.

 

A few months, _only a few months._ Jisoo could make it a few months without Junhui. And it wasn't like they wouldn't talk. They would Skype, call, and text.

 

Jisoo puts on a shirt, jeans and a coat, walking to the living room and kitchen. Jeonghan’s still asleep, since he has classes later and Jisoo puts the toast in before heading to the bathroom to wash up.

 

It was like the day he met Junhui, but this time he'll be seeing him off.

 

_Only a few months._

 

Those words resonate in Jisoo’s head. He's being too dramatic, Jisoo decides. It wasn't like Junhui was moving across the world for decades.

 

He splashes the cold water on his face, pushing away all his his melodramatic thoughts.

 

Jisoo spreads some jam on his toast and checks his phone. Jisoo almosts chokes when he sees the time.

 

He's going to be late if he doesn't go soon.

 

He quickly eats his toast while toeing on his shoes and grabs his car keys before he leaves.

 

He can only think about Junhui the whole car ride. How would he say goodbye? Was Jisoo just being too dramatic? Probably.

 

Jisoo turns on the radio to fill the silence so he wouldn't only be left with his thoughts.

 

Jisoo stares out at the morning sky when he stops at a red light watching the sky turn from light pink to a blue.

 

The airport comes into view and his heart speeds up. His stomach flips, not in a good way because it finally, actually dawns on him that he can't see Junhui for months.

 

Can't sing with him on the subway, can't hangout on impulse, just because they wanted to, can't hear his laugh or see his smile in person, can't have him so close he just has to reach out to touch him.

 

(Jisoo is so hopelessly in love with Junhui he can't even deny it, only accept it.)

 

Jisoo walks through the sliding doors and sees all the people in suits, on their phones hurrying along, with their suitcases in tow.

 

He searches for Junhui, knowing vaguely where the gate is, since Jisoo asked Minghao a few days before.

 

He spots a head of brunette hair and a familiar back, and hurries towards him. Jisoo peers around, making sure it's Junhui, which it is, before sitting down next to him.

 

(Jisoo could spot Junhui in a sea of a million people.)

 

Junhui jumps a little in surprise and turns to look at Jisoo. Jisoo doesn't miss Junhui’s eyes widen this time.

 

“Hey,” Jisoo says softly.

 

“Hey,” Junhui says back, surprise still evident in his voice.

 

“I asked Minghao when you were leaving,” Jisoo gives as an explanation. Junhui nods and scoots a bit closer, and Jisoo feels his heart race.

 

Their hands touch and, this time, Jisoo can't help but take Junhui’s hand. Junhui doesn't pull away, just tightens his hand around Jisoo’s. Junhui leans his head onto Jisoo’s shoulder, his soft hair tickling Jisoo’s neck.

 

They sit in silence, and Jisoo feels like he should talk, before they can't in real life conversation for months. But he can't bring himself to, just wanting to bask in the silence and doesn't want to accidentally ruin the mood.

 

“Hey, Junhui,” and Junhui makes a sound of acknowledgement, urging Jisoo to go on. Jisoo steels himself, because he wants to tell Junhui how much he loves him, how deeply in love he’s fallen in love with Junhui in just a few short months.

 

He's about to say it, so close, the words right at the tip of his tongue, “Junhui, I-” the announcement for boarding Junhui’s flight interrupts him.

 

Junhui looks at Jisoo in panic and Jisoo just says it's nothing and urges Junhui to go.

 

Junhui sits there, seems to contemplate something and Jisoo’s about to tell him to go but he stops when he sees Junhui lean in.

 

The whole world seems to slow down, and Jisoo's mouth goes dry, his mind races, and he forgets how to breathe, _again._

 

Jisoo feels his eyes widen. Then he feels Junhui’s lips on his cheek, a quick peck before their gone almost like they weren't there in the first place.

 

The world goes back to normal speed and Jisoo can just brush the place Junhui kissed him with his fingertips and stare at Junhui, who’s back of hand is covering his mouth and cheeks are a deep red.

 

Junhui mumbles a “goodbye” through his hand and hurries off, leaving Jisoo to wave at his retreating back.

 

(Jisoo feels his heart beat in time with Junhui’s hurried steps, pounding, pounding.)

 

He waves until Junhui disappears into the gate, off to China, 2,000 kilometers away and away from Jisoo.

 

*

 

It's a rainy day, about two and a half months after Junhui’s left, and both Jeonghan and Jisoo have no classes. So they both opt for staying home, lazing around the apartment.

 

Jisoo half sits half lays on the couch with his guitar playing random tunes while Jeonghan sits by his feet, paying more attention to his phone than actually to the show that was on the television.

 

They sit in silence, the rain pattering against their window and the voices from the television turning into white noise, along with the rain and everything else.

 

Jisoo can't help but think about Junhui, knowing they can't text today since Junhui said he was busy this week the last time they talked.

 

He misses Junhui, and he can't help it. He misses seeing Junhui’s smile in real time and misses being able to touch him. And the little peck Junhui gave before he left didn't help either.

 

Jeonghan immediately told Jisoo to ask Junhui out when Jisoo told him about it, but Junhui has yet to bring it up and Jisoo’s too scared to talk about it too. So they just avoid it.

 

Which isn't all that bad, considering it doesn't bother both of them that much, or so it _seems._

 

Jisoo thinks about it so much sometimes Jeonghan worried he'll pull his hair out, which in Jisoo’s defence, Jeonghan’s being too dramatic.

 

But even if Jisoo does ponder about it alot, he doesn't dare bring it up, not wanting to make it awkward between them and ruin the already sparse amount of Skype calls they have.

 

So Jisoo won't talk about it until Junhui does, and he's ok with it.

 

He strums the guitar strings and hums with the rain.

 

_All I hear is raindrops_

 

_Falling on the rooftops_

 

Jeonghan raises his head to face Jisoo and away from whatever he was doing on his phone. He raises an eyebrow, recognizing the song, since Jisoo sings it every so often.

 

_Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go_

 

_Cause this pain I feel_

 

_It won’t go away_

 

Jeonghan turns back to his phone when it dings, telling him he got a message but Jeonghan pays no mind, typing a quick text and then locks his phone.

 

He gets up and heads to the kitchen, humming quietly to the song that Jisoo continues to sing.

 

_And today_

 

_I’m officially missing you_

 

Jisoo hears some faint clanging from the kitchen and Jeonghan returns with two cups of warm coffee.

 

He silently hands one cup to Jisoo, which he takes and Jeonghan takes the other and sits back down in his original spot by Jisoo’s feet.

 

They both sip their coffee without saying a word and Jisoo’s not quite sure if this is going to go anywhere or not.

 

Before Jisoo can think any further, Jeonghan speaks up, “You really need to ask him out,” he hears Jeonghan say and Jisoo automatically feigns innocence.  

 

“Who?” and Jisoo wants to slap himself because even he wouldn't believe himself.

 

And Jeonghan doesn’t either. “Junhui, you idiot.”

 

Jisoo shakes his head and he already hears excuses pour out of his mouth, “No, I can’t, I mean he’s probably dating someone?” and Jisoo winces because it comes out as more of a question, "Or likes someone else?" he finishes weakly.

 

Jeonghan shakes his head, sighing at Jisoo’s horrible excuse and, really, Jisoo can't blame him, “No he’s not. I asked Minghao. He’s all clear. And have you not seen him with Soonyoung? It’s so obvious that they like each other.”

 

Jisoo looks at Jeonghan in real confusion this time, because he knew Junhui is definitely not dating Minghao, but Minghao and Soonyoung? That is definitely news to him.

 

Jeonghan gives Jisoo an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes, “Jisoo, how could you not have noticed? It been more than half a year.”

 

 Then Jeonghan expression changes into a teasing one, “Oh, of course you haven’t noticed,” he leans closer to Jisoo, “You're too busy thinking about Junhui all the time.”

 

Jisoo feels his face heat up and before Jisoo can make another excuse Jeonghan cuts him off, “Jisoo stop making excuses and ask him out. Every single person can see how in love with him you are.”

 

And Jisoo feels a wave of deja vu from last time, all those months back, and, _gosh,_ has it really been over half a year? Over eight months since Jeonghan urged Jisoo to talk to Junhui.

 

And about seven months since Jisoo actually did talk to Junhui.

 

But last time was different. Because last time it was just meeting Junhui, not confessing his love for him.

 

Last time Jisoo didn’t know Junhui yet and how sweet and adorable and just how absolutely amazing the younger boy was.  

 

All he knew was that he was handsome and took the subway.

 

But the Jisoo now does know Jun. His likes and dislikes, traits and flaws, his talents and weaknesses, his passions.

 

And Jisoo loves them all.

 

(So much it’s hard for Jisoo sometimes, not used to loving someone so much like _this._ )

 

And sometimes he wished he didn’t know Junhui because the more he does, the harder he feels himself falling for him.

 

(And now he loves him so much it hurts.)

 

Jeonghan seems to understand and his face softens.

 

He leans over and pats Jisoo on the back, resting his hand on Jisoo’s neck and squeezes it lightly.

 

"Tell him, ok? You’ll never know if you never try,” it was soft and caring.

 

And Jisoo feels himself nod.

 

*

 

Junhui is so many things. So, _so_ many things. And he's so many things, does so many things, to Jisoo.

 

He makes his mouth dry and mind race. He knocks the breath out of Jisoo, making him forget how to breathe, his throat closing up.

 

He makes sparks come alive under Jisoo’s skin, making warmth bloom in his chest and spreading in his body, to his fingertips and toes.

 

He makes butterflies flutter in his stomach, and flowers bloom and fill his lungs, thorns scratching his esophagus and lungs, making them give out, forces Jisoo’s heart up to his throat, almost leaping out and it's suffocating. So, so suffocating.

 

(Jisoo sometimes wishes Junhui could know what he _does_ to Jisoo.)

 

Jisoo is so, _so_ deeply in love with Junhui. Junhui takes up a part of Jisoo’s heart, a big one.

 

He’s decides to confess to Junhui, after that conversation with Jeonghan.

 

And maybe over Skype wasn't the best and most romantic way to tell someone your undying love for them but Junhui is in China so Jisoo has to make do.

 

Jisoo made sure Junhui would be free that evening while they were texting a few days before.

 

He turns on his laptop and opens up Skype, seeing Junhui contact and the green dot next to it.

 

Jisoo takes a deep breath, through all those flowers and petals. He clicks Junhui contact and then the call button.

 

It only rings for a few seconds before Junhui picks up, his pixelated face appearing on Jisoo’s screen and even through the horrible quality, Junhui still manages to look good.

 

“Hey,” Jisoo says, like the many times before and Junhui flashes him a bright smile and Jisoo feels the corners of his mouth tug up to return one.

 

“Hey,” Junhui replies, “how's it going?”

 

And they start conversing like usual, like they're other Skype calls or text, Jisoo asking how China and Junhui’s family was doing, and Junhui asking how Jisoo and Minghao and the rest were doing.

 

Jisoo feels his heart pounding, feels himself let out nervous laughs at Junhui’s story, that he can barely concentrate on, unlike other times.

 

Junhui finishes his story with a laugh, and then looks at Jisoo. He smiles and asks if anything eventful happened lately. Jisoo takes his chance.

 

“Yea, well, uhm, I have to say something, Junhui,” he stutters out and inwardly curses at it.

 

Junhui nods, all ears, and Jisoo fidgets and feels the heat rising to his cheeks. He opens his mouth, then closes it.

 

He wants to say the words on his mind, desperately, but he's also scared. He doesn't want to ruin their friendship.

 

He's so close to saying it's nothing and brushing it off but in the back of his mind Jeonghan’s words play over and over like a broken record.

 

_You'll never know if you never try._

 

So Jisoo breathes and the words spill.

 

“I love you,” he says and those three words carry all those feelings and all the fondness and love he has for Junhui that have been building up since seven and a half months ago.

 

And even though his heart is threatening to burst out of his chest, those words somehow seem natural. Like Jisoo is supposed to say them. Like it's right.

 

He sees Junhui’s eyes widen, well, as much as the pixelated screen can let him.

 

There's silence and Jisoo’s about to apologize or maybe play it off as a joke but Junhui speaks and Jisoo freezes.

 

“I love you, too,” and Jisoo has to fight the urge to pinch himself or ask Jeonghan to, because, was this _real_? Did Wen Junhui just say he loved Jisoo back.

 

“Wait, Junhui, I-I meant it in like the romantic way,” he clarifies because maybe Junhui misunderstood.

 

But Junhui just nods, “I meant it in the romantic way too.”

 

And then Jisoo feels like he's on cloud nine and he can't believe it. Wen Junhui loves him back. _He loves him back._

 

(Junhui loves Jisoo back, always has.)

 

And there has never been a moment in his life he has loved but also hated more because Jisoo wants to do nothing more than grab Junhui and kiss him, but he can't because Junhui is behind a screen, all the way in China.

 

But the reality of Junhui’s feelings override that and Jisoo honestly can't care because right now Junhui loves him back, and he lets out a fond laugh and smiles.

 

And Junhui smiles back.

 

More than half a year of knowing and falling in love with Junhui and Jisoo’s finally said it. And it was worth it.

 

They talk, more fond and open about their feelings until it's almost 1 in the morning and Junhui has to go and Jisoo needs to sleep.

 

They say their last goodbyes and with shyly added I love you’s, the new addition to their farewells making Jisoo feel warm and fuzzy inside.

 

Jisoo falls asleep, thinking about Junhui, his _boyfriend_ , and his heart swells.

 

*

 

When Jisoo wakes up, the sun is shining down on the city already and the birds are singing along with the cars.

 

Jeonghan’s already awake, sitting at their small kitchen table, with a cup of coffee, toast, and scrolling through his phone.

 

There was a plate with toast and jam and a cup of coffee sitting across from him, in front of Jisoo’s seat.

 

Jisoo slides into his seat and picks up the toast, taking a bite. He knows Jeonghan’s going to ask about last night, so he just waits until Jeonghan decides to speak.

 

It doesn't long, about a minute later, Jeonghan speaks up, putting down his phone and turning his full attention onto Jisoo, “Did you tell him?”

 

Jisoo nods, chewing his toast, waiting to swallow before speaking, “I did.”

 

Jeonghan waits for Jisoo to elaborate but he doesn't and Jeonghan lets out an annoyed sigh, adding, “And? What did he say?”

 

Jisoo turns a light pink, still not used to it, remembering last night, “He said he l-loves me back,” his voice is shy and he mentally slapping himself for stuttering on the word love.

 

But Jeonghan doesn't pay mind to it, focusing on something else, his eyes growing wide and his mouth quirking up into a disbelieving smile, “You told Junhui you _love_ him? _Love_? Oh my gosh, Jisoo you're so deep in and I didn't know? You’re in _love_? Oh my gosh it's so cute,” Jeonghan rambles, his smile growing wider.

 

Jisoo blushes harder, because his best friend, who wasn't even a year older, just called him cute because he confessed to his crush, like a mother with her toddler.

 

“So are you guys dating now?”

 

Jisoo nods, “I’m pretty sure,” because they never explicitly said that they were boyfriends, Jisoo just kind of assumed.

 

Jeonghan looks at him shocked, “Pretty sure? Not 100% sure? Jisoo, you have to ask! Come on,” he says desperately.

 

A ping from Jisoo’s phone makes them both pause their conversation and both look at Jisoo’s phone.

 

Jisoo slowly unlocks his phone and sucks in a breath when he sees text is from Junhui.

 

He taps on the notification cautiously.

 

_> > hey i kinda told minghao that we’re dating now, that ok??_

 

Jisoo feels the corners of his mouth automatically quirk up at the text, Junhui’s playful yet shy attitude always making his heart beat faster.

 

_< < yea, i was just going to tell jeonghan_

 

_> > great ^^_

 

_> > i love you <33_

 

_< < i love you too_

 

(Jisoo has to get used to this, since Junhui plans to hold onto Jisoo for a _long_ time, not that Jisoo was planning to leave. He wants to stay with Junhui just as much.)

 

Jisoo locks his phone and puts it down, finishing off his toast and Jeonghan returns to his seat, sitting on it fully, since he had leaned over the table to peek and read Jisoo’s texts.

 

“Well I guess that settles that,” Jeonghan says with a smile, sipping the rest of his coffee.

 

(And the sun filters through the blinds and lights up the room and Jisoo thinks he feels a bit like the sunbeams on the floor.)

 

“Yea,” Jisoo says quietly, drinking his coffee too, and he hopes the mug is enough to cover his smile.

 

*

 

“I’m coming back in a week,” and Jisoo’s jaw almost drops. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but Jisoo is surprised to say the least.

 

It’s been almost five months that Junhui’s been in China. And Jisoo’s been anticipating his return since around that first week since Junhui’s left. So the reality of Junhui finally coming back hits Jisoo like a ton of bricks.

 

It means Jisoo can talk to Junhui again, in person. It means he can see that bright smile and his laugh. It means Jisoo could _touch_ Junhui, hug him, hold his hand, wrap his arms around Junhui’s waist, push his bangs back away from his forehead and _kiss_ him.

 

Jisoo can't wait.

 

“Hello? Babe?” Junhui’s voice through Jisoo’s laptop brings him back to the current reality.

 

“Huh? Oh yea, I can't wait,” and Jisoo can't help the fond smile he feels his face break into.

 

“Me neither,” Junhui says. Chinese interrupts their conversation and Jisoo hears Jun speak Chinese back.

 

Junhui turns back with an apologetic smile on his face, “Sorry, I gotta go, but I’ll be sure to text you, ok?”

 

Jisoo nods, understanding, and says goodbye and I love you, which Junhui returns.

 

He closes his laptop and tosses it on his bed and immediately runs out of his room to the living room where Jeonghan is, watching the television.

 

The sound of Jisoo’s hurried steps makes Jeonghan turn his attention from the television to Jisoo. He cocks his head to the side, “Something happen?”

 

Jisoo nods furiously, “Junhui’s coming back next week.”

 

Jeonghan’s full attention is on Jisoo now. His face breaks into a smile, “That's great! Jisoo you have to find out his flight and pick him up, I mean who else is going to? Minghao would probably know his flight, ask him,” and Jisoo nods going to find his phone in his room.

 

He grabs his phone from his bed and immediately finds Minghao’s contact and dials him. The line picks up and he hears Minghao’s accented voice, “Hyung? You need something?”

 

“Hey Minghao, yea, uh, do you know when Junhui’s flight back is?” and Jisoo can almost _hear_ Minghao smile.

 

“Ah he told you? Yea it's in the afternoon,” Jisoo nods and writes down the important information.

 

“Thanks Minghao.”

 

“No problem, hyung,” Minghao responds with a warm laugh. They say goodbye and the call ends.

 

Jisoo stares at the piece of paper, looking at the date and time.

 

A ping brings his attention from the paper to his phone and he unlocks it, seeing a text from Minghao.

 

_> > ah, hyung can you drive me to pick junhui too?_

 

Jisoo types back a quick yes and then throws his phone onto the bed.

 

Jisoo falls back onto his bed and runs his hands through his hair. He closes his eyes and breathes down his pounding heart, sighing through his nose.

 

Junhui is coming back and after almost a year of being in love with him, Jisoo can finally kiss him and do all those romantic things he’s been wanting to do since the day they talked in the rain.

 

He feels himself smile to himself before he can stop himself, grinning from ear to ear.

 

  _Junhui is coming back_.

 

*

 

When Jisoo wakes up on the day that he's supposed to pick Junhui up, he wakes up feeling giddy. There are butterflies fluttering around in his stomach.

 

He quickly dresses in an outfit he takes from his closet since he was more focused on the fact that Junhui was coming back and washes up, making sure his hair is just right.

 

He rushes out to the living room and Jeonghan’s already awake, smiling at Jisoo and hands him a cup of coffee and toast, as always.

 

Jisoo takes it thankfully and chokes it down and washes it down with coffee. Jeonghan watches with an amused look and Jisoo looks back with a sheepish smile.

 

Jisoo checks the time and is relieved that he's on time, putting on his shoes.

 

He turns around to tell Jeonghan bye and Jeonghan waves him off, “Go to him, loverboy,” he says fondly and Jisoo nods and flashes Jeonghan one of his famous smiles that make all the girls swoon before going out the door.

 

He drives to Junhui and Minghao’s apartment complex and Minghao is already waiting outside. He spots Jisoo’s car and gets in the front seat.

 

Jisoo turns to him, “Soonyoung not coming?” Jisoo asks with a knowing smile. He sees Minghao cutely blush before the younger boy punches his arm lightly.

 

“Just shut up and drive hyung,” and Jisoo doesn't comment on the disrespect because he honestly doesn't mind, so he just chuckles and starts driving like he's told.

 

They don't talk much but it isn't awkward, not at all. It's nice and Minghao being there calms Jisoo’s nerves a bit.

 

Minghao looks over and sees Jisoo shaking his leg in nervousness and smirks.

 

“Calm down, hyung,” Minghao smirks and Jisoo feels like he shouldn't have teased Minghao 30 minutes ago.

 

The music from the radio fills the silence and takes Jisoo’s mind off of Junhui for a while.

 

But he feels his heart squeeze and pound when the airport comes into view. It was like that day five months ago, but this time Junhui wasn't leaving, this time he is coming back.

 

He pulls into a parking space and takes a moment to _breathe_. Minghao puts a hand on Jisoo’s knee and rubs it soothingly.

 

He gives him a smile, “Calm down, hyung,” and this time it isn't teasing, just comforting. Jisoo gives Minghao a thankful smile and opens the door to get out.

 

They walk to the gate that Junhui’s supposed to come from and then wait, as the announcement says that his flight has just landed.

 

The rush of people come and Jisoo and Minghao desperately search for Junhui among the crowd.

 

The afternoon sun filters through the huge airport windows and Jisoo’s mind thinks of those cliche romcoms Jeonghan watches, where the couple reunites and music starts playing as he swings her around and dips her into a kiss.

 

And Jisoo’s tempted to do just that, when he sees the familiar head of brunette hair and they make eye contact.

 

(He loves him so, so much, and this time Jisoo can show it properly.)

 

He sees Junhui pick up his speed and rush toward Jisoo and Minghao. He greets them slightly breathless and with a blinding smile.

 

(Jisoo’s breathless too, it catches in his throat, because Junhui was _here_ in front of Jisoo, not behind a pixelated screen 2,000 km away where Jisoo can't touch him.)

 

Jisoo feels a hand on his back and turns to see Minghao smile and jerk his head towards Junhui, giving Jisoo a push.

 

Jisoo stumbles a bit before walking towards Junhui until he's standing right in front of him.

 

Jisoo can't help but reach out and take Junhui’s hand and pull him towards him.

 

He slides his arm around Junhui waist and pulls him closer. He’s tempted to swing Junhui around, like those romcoms, but Junhui is way too tall, a bit taller than Jisoo, so he settles for dipping Junhui into a kiss.

 

Jisoo looks into Junhui’s eyes for a moment before leaning in and, finally, _finally,_ kisses Junhui.

 

Jisoo forgets everything around them, forgets that they're in an _airport_ with thousands of people around, because Junhui sighs into the kiss and wraps his arms around Jisoo’s neck and pulls him impossibly closer.

 

Jisoo feels Junhui smile into the kiss, and he does too.

 

Jisoo feels sparks fly and shoot up his arms, making fireworks explode behind his eyelids. Something clicks in his head that he's _kissing_ Junhui, the boy he's been pining for and in love with for a year and he feels warmth spread from his chest warming him down to his fingertips to his toes, making him smile grow bigger. The kiss is gentle and soft.

 

Butterflies come alive in his stomach and flowers bloom in his lungs, but it's not suffocating, there aren’t any painful thorns just beautiful petals and Jisoo feels _alive_.

 

(He _loves_ him.)

 

They break apart after what seems like forever and the world seems to go back to normal speed. The realization that they're in public dawns on Jisoo, as he coughs in embarrassment and looks around.

 

Thankfully, no one is looking or either lost interest in the two lovers. Jisoo glances back at Minghao who looks at the two with fond, teasing eyes and his arms crossed over his chest. He walks towards them and grabs Junhui’s luggage heading for the exit and motions for them to join him, “Come on loverboys, let’s go home,” and it causes both of them to blush.

 

They walk hand in hand next to Minghao and the three catch up on what's been happening.

 

When they reach the car Minghao takes the back, letting Jisoo and Junhui sit in the front together, and Jisoo makes a note in his mind to invite Minghao and Soonyoung to dinner and also Jeonghan so he can thank them for helping and dealing with him.

 

Minghao texts on his phone, probably texting Soonyoung, as Jisoo starts to drive. Junhui places a hand on Jisoo’s that's on the driving stick.

 

Jisoo smiles at him when the light is red and intertwines his fingers with Junhui’s before looking back at the road as the light turns green.

 

Jisoo sees Minghao playfully roll his eyes from the rear view mirror and makes a fake gagging motion at Jisoo from the back. Jisoo chuckles and focuses on the road.

 

Jisoo rubs the back of Junhui’s hand with the pad of his thumb the rest of the way back.

 

Jisoo drops the two off at their apartment and Minghao says a thank you and bows along with Junhui.

 

Jisoo gets ready to drive home. “Hyung!” Junhui’s voice catches Jisoo’s attention before he's about to leave. Junhui jogs back towards him and Jisoo opens the window to ask if he forgot something.

 

Before he can get the words out, he feels hands grab his shirt collar. He feels himself being lightly pulled and then he's leaning out of his car window and Junhui’s lips are on his.

 

He's too shocked to respond, and by the time the shock wears off and Jisoo can melt into the kiss, Junhui’s lips are already gone and he's running back to a Minghao who's hunched over and peals of laughter are coming from him.

 

Junhui throws a quick goodbye over his shoulder and Jisoo wonders if Junhui’s ears are actually a bright red or if it's just a trick of the light.

 

He watches Minghao and Junhui walk through the glass doors and Minghao gives him one last wave and Junhui hides behind Minghao, which doesn't really work since he was taller than him, embarrassed.

 

Jisoo waits until he sees them disappear into the elevator before he puts the gear into drive, and drives home with his head in the clouds, singing along with the love songs playing on the car radio.

 

*

 

The smell of take out immediately attacks Jisoo when he opens the door. Jeonghan’s already on the couch eating so Jisoo takes off his shoes and coat and joins him.

 

“So how'd it go?”

 

“Well,” Jisoo thinks back to the kisses and how cliche they were, “I kissed him in the airport in front of everyone, we held hands in the car ride back, and then he pulled me into a kiss before leaving,”

 

Jeonghan stares and immediately bursts out laughing, and Jisoo’s thankful his mouth wasn't full, “Oh my gosh that's so cliche! Like those romcoms! That's so romantic Jisoo!”

 

Jisoo gives Jeonghan a glare and focuses on shoveling food into his mouth. Jeonghan sobers up and gives him a gentle smile, “But in all seriousness, I’m really happy for you Jisoo.”

 

Jisoo pauses and swallows the noodles. He stares at Jeonghan for a moment before returning a smile of his own, “Thanks Jeonghan. Honestly.”

 

Jeonghan gives Jisoo one more smile before looking down at his food and concentrating on his food.

 

*

 

The cold days have given into warmer days and gradually it gets hotter and hotter and the days grow longer and longer.

 

Jisoo feels his hands sweat and he sure it's not only because of the summer heat.

 

Junhui and Jisoo walk hand in hand down the streets of Seoul with no purpose, just wanting to have some time together and go on a casual date.

 

But Jisoo has some plans. No, he isn't proposing, it was too early for that.

 

(But Jisoo would be lying if he hasn't imagined it many times before, spending his forever with Junhui, and Jisoo would be lying if he didn't enjoy it,  _a lot_.)

 

He wants to ask Junhui to move in with him to a new apartment.

 

This idea has been weighing on his mind for a couple of months and he's been asking Jeonghan and his other friends now but he finally decided to ask when Jeonghan had walked in on them on one fine day about one months ago with Jisoo pinning Junhui to the couch and kissing him passionately, because _Jeonghan was supposed to be out for at least two more hours._

 

Needless to say Jisoo was thoroughly embarrassed and Jeonghan had teased him for at least two weeks and even subtly, it was not subtle whatsoever, maybe,  _kinda,_  mentioned it to their friends.

 

So yea, they did need some privacy, a lot of privacy actually, and they've been dating long enough that Jisoo feels that it's a good time to ask. Jisoo wants to spend a long time with Junhui and this is one step closer to that goal.

 

Jisoo and Junhui find a small coffee shop to take a break and get a drink in. They sit down at a table next to a window and order their drinks, feet touching.

 

Their drinks come and Jisoo watches Junhui take a sip of his iced coffee and Jisoo follows in suit.

 

Their free hands tangle into each other loosely and absentmindedly, a natural thing since they started dating. Junhui looks around the cafe with curiosity, observing.

 

And Jisoo just _stares_ at Junhui. The light catches in his brown hair and his features. Junhui’s fingers are laced with Jisoo’s and there's a small smile playing at his lips as he watches the cafe. Jisoo becomes breathless once more because the man in front of him is so beautiful and he loves him _so_ much.

 

(So much Jisoo doesn't know what to do at times.)

 

And all his nervousness melts away and it's replaced with determination, wanting, and love. He tightens his hand around Junhui, and this makes Junhui turn to look at who was in front of him, to look at him, to look at _Jisoo_.

 

Junhui seems to see the seriousness in Jisoo’s eyes, so he stays silent, maybe even a bit guarded, and lets Jisoo speak.

 

They stay silent for a bit, Jisoo trying to think of the right words to say and Junhui waiting.

 

“Hey,” Jisoo finally breaks the silence and Junhui jumps a bit in surprise, “I've been thinking about this fo- for a few months and, uhm,” Jisoo clears his throat and takes a sip of his drink because suddenly his throat is really dry and all the nervousness is flooding back.

 

Junhui rubs soothing circles into Jisoo’s hand and Jisoo gives him a thankful look. He doesn't know why Jisoo’s so nervous but he knows he _is_ so he wants to help calm him down.

 

“Well,” Jisoo starts again and breathes in, trying to gather all the confidence he has right now, “You, you wanna move in with me?”

 

Junhui’s hand stops moving and Jisoo practically _feels_ Junhui freeze and hears him suck in a breath. Crap, crap, maybe it was too early to ask? Jisoo feels himself break into a cold sweat because what if Junhui says no, oh god.

 

Junhui takes a moment to process what Jisoo asks and then smiles and chuckles, “Oh babe,” and he laughs some more and Jisoo just wishes Junhui would answer the question.

 

“ _Babe,”_ Junhui says again and Jisoo looks at him, “Why are you so nervous? Of course I'll want to. To be honest I've been waiting for a while and Minghao told me to ask if you don't ask by the end of this month.”

 

Now it was Jisoo’s turn to take a moment to process this all because, oh god, they were going to move in together and Junhui’s been willing to for a while.

 

Jisoo feels himself grin at Junhui and Junhui grins back, long legs bumping into each other.

 

Junhui and Jisoo finish their drinks and the couple decide it's time to go home, since the sun is starting to set, bathing the city in hues of orange and pink.

 

(It describes Jisoo’s feeling pretty well, too, all warm and happy, pinks and oranges.)

 

Jisoo drops Junhui off at his apartment complex and he walks home feeling jittery and he knows it's not only because of the coffee.

 

*

 

“Where should I put these?” Jisoo turns around to face a Junhui who was currently carrying two boxes full of whatever else the couple own.

 

“You can just place it there,” Jisoo makes a motion to the living room. Junhui nods and heads there to place them down. 

 

 Jisoo scans the apartment they were moving into.

 

Across the entryway, the kitchen, living room, and then the hallway that led to the bedrooms and bathroom. Then his gaze sets on Junhui.

 

All Jisoo sees is Junhui’s back as he set down the boxes. Junhui in his gray cardigan and white shirt and black skinny jeans and his hair styled up making him look more handsome just like the first day they talked.

 

Jisoo can’t help but feel fondness and affection swell in his chest. 

 

He takes long strides toward the Junhui who is now looking out the balcony window with a soft smile across his features.

 

Jisoo slowly wraps his arms around the younger’s waist. He feels Junhui jump a bit at the sudden contact but he quickly relaxes to Jisoo’s touch. He leans back into Jisoo and lets out an airy laugh as his hands go down to hold Jisoo’s, whose hands are clasped together at Jun’s waist.

 

Junhui turns around in his arms to face Jisoo. He smiles a smile that his eyes crinkles up and Jisoo could see the small laugh lines at the corners as they turn into crescent moons.

 

And Jisoo feels his breath getting caught in his throat, like the many other times since Jisoo has even set his eyes on Junhui

 

(Which is many, many times.)

 

Junhui leans in and kisses Jisoo. Jisoo always loved these chaste kisses they shared. Where Junhui's fingers would rub soothing circles at the back of Jisoo's neck.

 

They break apart both letting out soft laughs and sighs.

 

Jisoo sees, and feels, Junhui put his hands on Jisoo’s cheeks and lean in to plant a feather light kiss onto Jisoo’s forehead.

 

His arms slowly find their place around Jisoo’s neck and they stand like that for a bit. In the middle of all the mess of boxes of half unpacked furniture and possessions. 

 

And Jisoo thinks back to all those months ago when he was just a boy who admired the handsome boy at the subway station and he thanks god and every deity that he got to meet that boy and fall in love with him and he smiles.

 

As he tightens his arms around Junhui’s waist and pulls him a little closer. He rests his forehead on Junhui’s. He hears another airy laugh from Junhui and he breathes it all in.

 

The traffic outside, the setting sun, the new apartment, their boxes of possessions, and _Junhui._

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you, too.”

 

(Junhui makes Jisoo feel so many things and maybe it's unbearable and confusing at times, but Jisoo wouldn't give it for the world.)

**Author's Note:**

> this is literally the longest thing i've ever written in my life and it's for such a rare (but good) ship??  
> also i have started a proposal fic but idk if i'll ever finish it it depends
> 
> also have you seen the junshua lately? its slowly rising and i love life


End file.
